Guess Who’s Back? Back Again. Slamilton’s Back. Tell A Friend.

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Josh will be hitting 5th tonight. I’m not sure if he’s playing in the field or just batting. Not really a better time to bring him up. We just swept the Yankees and are nearly at .500. If he provides any kind of spark then it’s a plus. Josh’s last ride begins tonight, for better or for worse.

Live look at Josh’s return:

Nintendo Hires Doug Bowser To Head Up The Sales Department. Mario Reportedly Furious.

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(Source)

I assume Bob Gannondorf will be taking over marketing as well? Jesus,we’ve spent decades keeping this asshole from victory and you just go and show him the back way in? Fuck you Nintendo, I won’t stand for it. I didn’t beat the water temple just so you could let all of the villains control your company. If it’s war you want, its war you’ll get. I’ll jump on whoever’s head, fire light arrows into whoever’s body until we are victorious.

Rockets Drop Game Three.

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I’ve been sick. It hit me like a freight train. I’ll fight to the gates of hell to bring you quality content.

The Rockets won’t. Nay, they can’t. Steph Curry and the rest of Golden State are too much. I thought I saw heart last game, bu what I really saw were death throws. The Rockets knew they couldn’t contend and Golden State broke them and the city of Houston last night.

We are getting sweeps in both conferences. It wouldn’t matter if Al Horford played next game. It’s Cavs in 4 and Golden State in 4. Cavs in 6 for the championship. Steph Curry is the MVP but you’re kidding yourself if you take him before Lebron.

Rangers Top Yankees With Monster Night From Prince Fielder

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We are the kings of the the bottom of the AL!

Not only did we swipe two of three from the Red Sox we took down the Yankees. Clearly, we have mastered how to beat the worst of the Al. It would have been nice to see these bats against a garbage Red Sox rotation but I’ll take it. Here’s to being an outside shot for the wildcard playoff. Good to see we gave that cheating fuck* Pineda the what-for. Take it away boys!

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*Between Pineda and Will Smith, I’m not sure who’s worse at playing in the grey area.

Makes Me Sad How Far We Done Fell.

Gross, bro.

Rockets Lose Game 2 By 1. This Will Be A Series

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James Harden continues to try and win it by himself. I understand. He’s been doubted and mocked. And he thinks this is his shot to prove the haters wrong. Which he has. If you think James Harden isn’t one of the best players in the league after this, you’re a fool. He’s trying to will Houston to a victory. The problem is, he doesn’t have to. Let Dwight play. Slow the game down. Let Jason Terry hawk around the three point line and kick it out to him. You don’t have anything left to prove.

The Houston Rockets just did one of the most difficult things to do in basketball this year. They played Golden State’s game and took them to a point. If Golden State isn’t one step a head defensively on that last possession, Houston steals that game. I don’t like complaining about officiating but Andrew Bogut is such a pansy it’s unreal. Either play inside big man basketball or get out of the way. Don’t catch Dwight with an elbow and then when he gives it back to you, and is about to dunk on you, drop to the paint like you were hit by a sniper. Gotta call it both ways ref.

This goes to 7.

Colorado Man Brings Stuffed Owl Named “Soloman” As His Defense Attorney.

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(Source)– Defending yourself in a court case is rarely recommended, but appointing a stuffed owl as your lawyer is really bird-brained.

Nevertheless, that’s who — or what — Charles Abbott brought as his attorney when he appeared in an Aspen, Colorado, courtroom on Tuesday, the Associated Press reports.

Abbott is accused of violating a protection order involving his former roommate Michael Stranahan. The order was filed after Abbott allegedly assaulted Stranahan at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Stranahan said Abbott violated the order by going to Stranahan’s home to retrieve belonging when the victim was out of town, according to KWGN.com.

In court, Abbott placed a fuzzy stuffed owl at the defense table and told the judge that the owl — named “Soloman” — would be his legal counsel until a public defender was assigned to the case, the Aspen Times reports.

“He’s a very sensitive guy, has law degrees from Yale, Harvard and Stanford,” Abbott told the judge, according to the paper. “I think he’ll be able to represent me before a public defender comes online.”

Soloman! So hot right now! Did you see that not only does Soloman hold law degrees from Harvard and Yale, but a law degree from Stanford.This makes Soloman the only owl or person to receive a law degree from Stanford. Soloman can lawyer for me any day. With a name like that and those credentials hes a sure fire winner. If you’re named Soloman you pretty much have to be a lawyer, right?

So what are the odds that this guys is going for the insanity defense? I’d say they’re pretty high. Having an entire backstory crafted for Soloman is just a little too crazy. Crazy like an owl.

The field mouse is fast but owl sees at night.

Biker In Waco Shooting Posts Million Dollar Bond. What?

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(Source)-One of the 177 bikers arrested following a deadly shooting outside of a Waco restaurant is free after paying a $1 million bond……

Alright so what’s this guy’s day job? Does he play on the stock market or do financial planning for all the other bike gangs? Because if his bond was a million he had to a least pay around half of that, give or take a little. So these gangs have to run guns or drugs and launder the money through a bunch of porn operations or something. It really is Sons of Anarchy out there.

So he’s the boss-man. Good to know. He’s a little less Jax Teller looking than I would have imagined. Actually, hes exactly what I imagined the leader of a hardened biker gang looking like. A million dollar bond is nothing to sneeze at and this guy must have friends in all the right places.

It’s not the loud gangs you need to be worried about. Not the Bloods or the Crips or the Latin Kings. It’s the quiet ones like these guys, who can post million dollar bonds, who are the real gangsters.

Feel Good Story Of The Day: Paralyzed Man Uses Robotic Arm To Drink A Beer. Is Inspiration To Us All.

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(Source)

Of course you use your robotic arm to drink a beer. There’s not any other choice, right? Because this is what technology is about. It’s not about being Iron Man. It’s about using it to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Erik Sorto got the raw end of life’s deal and this technology has given him one of the things we all take for granted. Being able to come home crack open a cold one and relax for 30 minutes.

Since suffering a gunshot wound 13 years ago, he longed to drink a beer without help. The first time he tried with the prosthetic arm, he was so excited that he lost his concentration and caused the arm to spill the drink. On the second try, he directed the arm to pick up the bottle and bring it to his mouth where he sipped through a straw.

The beer tasted “like a little piece of heaven,” Sorto said.

Cheers Erik. May your days be filled with drinking beer on your own.

Houston Drops Game 1 Despite A Filthy James Harden

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Man, that has to hurt. James Harden especially can’t catch a break in the playoffs. It seems like anytime he goes off, the Rockets lose. He did Golden State dirty but it was wasn’t enough. Dwight getting hurt is a lot more significant than people have given credit. With Dwight and a soft Golden State interior, the Rockets can slow the game down and make Golden State play half court basketball. But if you have to run and gun all game, Golden State wins that game of 9 times out of 10. If you’re a Rockets fan, it’s #PrayForDwight time.

Steph Curry’s kid is adorable though.

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